I got a new girlfriend, though I don't like girls.[a]



I haven't much money, but I buy her pearls.[a]






I'm always embarrassed, but I give her flowers,[b]


and talk on the phone every evening for hours.[b]






We go to the movies, and she gets to pick.[c]


She wants to hold hands, though it makes me feel sick.[c]






She likes when I smell good, so I take a bath.[d]


I do what she asks me, and she does my math.[d]






-- Kenn Nesbit